Depressing Transport

We were too exhausted to cry about the present or worry about our future. Subconsciously, though, we feared the worst. Indeed, we later found out that our premonitions were well founded. We later found out that not only did the Hungarian government give us away to the Nazis for annihilation, they also paid the full cost of transport to the death camps.

As the Jewish transports did not appear on the regular railway schedule, we were often stranded for hours under the blazing sun waiting for our turn to travel. We received no food or water. People urinated and took care of their natural needs aboard the train, spreading a putrid odor. Small children and babies cried themselves to sleep out of sheer exhaustion, from hunger and thirst, from the wholly wretched situation we were in. Some of the men donned their teffilin and fervently beseeched the Almighty to save us, "look upon your forsaken children, see what the world is doing to them and send help; pull us out of this catastrophe before it is too late - if it isn't already".

The transport hurtled along mostly at night, rocking us to sleep. We dreamed of freedom, of home, of plentiful food and water. Each time the train stopped, so did our dreams. We sadly woke up to the dreadful reality. During air raids, the cowardly SS guards locked us inside the train, taking cover themselves in bomb shelters.

Our transport stopped one day by the train station, with many Hungarian soldiers and civilians all around. My cousin Magda peeked out of a tiny window at the side of the boxcar and begged a Hungarian officer for a little water. He promptly denied Magda's request. How could anyone be so cruel? Even dangerous criminals condemned to death receive their last request. Why are innocent Jews treated even worse? Is there no more justice left on earth?

My mom and us children resided just beneath a small window, so we saw much breathtaking scenery as the train swiftly raced along. Normally, this would be uplifting, but now we were engulfed by depression.

Our journey reached a turning point on Thursday afternoon, as we left Hungarian territory through the City of Kossa [Kassa?], soon arriving at a nearby small Polish town whose name I do not recall. Our transport was delayed at the station, and another transport with Jews being deported to annihilation centers stood nearby. After a while, our transport's locomotive went to the rear - we were going to travel backwards. We soon went back through the City of Kossa [Kassa?] onto Hungarian soil. At first, we fooled ourselves into believing that the Hungarian government claimed us back, and would not let us be taken to annihilation. It took just a short while, however, for us to face our destiny. Now our transport traveled swiftly. We arrived in the station of Budapest Komarom Estergom, and then to the last Hungarian city on our fateful journey, Hegjeshalom - there we left behind the territory that we mistakenly believed was our homeland.

© David Muskal, 2001