Memories

In Nadudvar I also had quite a number of girl cousins. None of them ever came to visit me, even though some of them were around my age. I myself was too sensitive to befriend them, so I stayed away from them, but one summer Sabbath I remember standing outside of my cousins' fence, peeping through a small hole in their fence. This was a special occasion - my Uncle Adolf from Kal's two daughters visited, so all my girl cousins from my father's side came together dressed in their best. None of them remembered to invite me! They were all dressed in a marine uniform, while I was just wearing a simple dress. I still recall the humiliating feeling standing outside their home. Oh how I longed to be invited to play, to talk, to mix in their company - but they completely disregarded my very existence those years. I just stood there till the tears covered my eyes, then slowly walked away with the shame of the uninvited. I was no more than five years old when this happened.

 I recall much freedom through my childhood years, although my parents sometimes took advantage of me. I recall a Wednesday market day - my father bought an enormous watermelon, and told me to carry it home! Myself a skinny five year old girl… I was unable to contradict my father's words, could not say a word. He should have had better judgement than that! Was it a way to get rid of me - or did he attend to some important business? It was a market day, and he had to earn our living. So I took the enormous watermelon and walked with it a long way, hardly keeping it up. It felt very heavy, and my back was sore. Was I glad when I finally got home and got rid of it!

Also in Nadudvar, after my mother and two brothers came back from a visit to Gyor - where her mother and relatives lived - my youngest brother Bela fell very ill, so much so that his life was threatened. After continuous diarrhea, he was left very weak. The doctor came to our house. He performed a blood transfusion from my father to my sick brother Bela. I do not know how much I understood then, but I do remember how sad I was - standing outside at the open porch of the house and worrying.

We now lived in a different house, with green grapevines climbing high up the terrace. In small towns, it was customary on Fridays to carry the uncooked Sabbath stew (consisting of meat, kugles, beans, barley, onion, garlic and spices) to the baker, who placed them in his big earth oven. We picked them up noontime of the Sabbath day. The carrying home sometime gave rise to disagreements between us children, in regard to whose turn it was to bring it home, since the grown-ups were forbidden to carry things on Sabbath, in accord with the Jewish religion.

Since several of our brothers and sisters died in infancy, our parents became very apprehensive about our health and took extra precaution to take good care of us. Some of the homes we lived in had only bare earth floors, so we often caught prolonged colds in the fall-winter or early spring. Mostly I recall myself coughing and coughing till late spring came, so my mother forced me to go with her to the doctor whose name I remember as Dr. Kohn - or Kronhauser. His house was located on the main road of Nadudvar. As we strolled the streets with my mother, I recall how we passed by a big nice store belonging to Mr. Karakas. Close by, at the opposite side of the road, was city hall, then some turn to the right was the kindergarten. I vividly remember how scared I was from those doctors' visits, and how I hated them. I still remember the heavy feeling descending on me, and I had no say in the matter!

I must have been a very wild child at that time, but also very sensitive. Being constantly only in the company of boys probably influenced me. One of our summertime specialties was running after horse-carts, elevating and holding on to the rear of the travelling horse-cart, enjoying a short ride - till the driver of the wagon yelled or whipped us with his lash. It was really a dangerous ride, but lots of fun!

The only thing that scared me was the darkness at night. I am not sure whether or not it had anything to do with our parents' (mainly our mother) bedtime stories. As I recall, I was very clean at an early age. Daytime I took care all my needs by myself - for that matter, I took care of my needs by night too. What I needed help with at night was light. The darkness was one of my worst enemies at that time. I woke up at night begging my parents to turn on the light, because I was afraid to get out of my bed in the darkness and walk to the bathroom, wherever it was located. My parents usually turned on the light or walked me to take care of my needs. There were some occasions when I woke up at night, called my parents but did not get an answer - that really scared me. I later found out that some nights my parents used to visit our relatives and left us home by ourselves - no babysitters.

© David Muskal, 2001